Friday, March 25, 2011


Lately I have had a hard time sleeping... and yes, it is from the little girl. However, it isn't for the reason you would think. She has been sleeping pretty well at nights, but every day after we say our evening prayers and thank our Heavenly Father for our little miracle in our lives my mind flashes back to September 17th, the day she was born ... the saddest, scariest, yet happiest day of my life.

I think of the nurses coming into my room saying that we were going to have to have an emergency c-section and being overwhelmed with fear. I think of her poor little body as pale as a white sheet barely holding on to life. I think of the doctors giving me frantic yet composed looks and uncertain answers. I think of her sweet little face and her little 4 lb 15 ounce body laying motionless in an incubator. I remember the life flight, the breathing machines, the NICU, the uncertainty, and the fear. I look at her sweet little face every day and feel so incredibly blessed to have her in my life and be her mother. If you have ever met her, you know she is the sweetest most special spirit you have ever met. She is so special. It pains me to think that I almost lost her. The other night as I was thinking about this all in the dark and crying a bit, I felt so grateful to my Father in Heaven. Not only did he make it possible through his Son, Jesus Christ, to have eternal families, (such a comforting thought for me), he gave me a miracle and let me have her on earth. She shouldn't be here, but she is and I love her more than words can express. She just had her 6 month appoinment last week and is doing terrific. She started eating baby food and LOVES sweet potatoes. She weighs 13 pounds and 1 ounce (10th percentile) and is 25 inches (50 percentile). She is so healthy and so, so, so, happy. She just smiles and smiles and her giggle is so contagious. WE LOVE HER SO MUCH!

I know miracles happen and that Jesus and Heavenly Father are aware of us personally and love us. I am so grateful for this special experience we have been given to strengthen our testimony and our family.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Five Months?!?

I can't believe that my little baby is almost five whole months old!!!! I never knew that being a mother could cause so much happiness and joy. Seriously. I never knew that I could love something so much. Olivia is growing and getting bigger everyday, even though on a daily basis I tell her to stop growing. She also has learned to giggle. Believe me when I tell you she has the cutest giggle on the whole planet. However, she decided to show us that she can giggle and then completely stopped. It is like giving someone a bowl of homemade icecream and then taking it away. She probably is mad she showed us she knows how to giggle. We now constantly bother her with hourless tickles and tummy blows. She probably thinks we are such idiots! But we love her and you too can now see how adorable she is with the abundance of pictures that follow. Maybe someday I will be good at this blogging thing, but probably not.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

It Keeps Getting Better and Better

Our sweet Olivia is already two months old!!! I cannot believe how fast time is flying by. She had her two month appointment yesterday and got her shots (SO SAD!!!) and got weighed. She now weighs a whopping 8 pounds 6 ounces and is 21 1/2 inches. She has pretty much doubled in weight since she has been born. She is such a good baby and we love her so much. We cannot imagine life without her! Here are her newborn pictures that were taken right after she got home from the NICU. They were taken by Peekaboo Photos (a few people have wondered). I have more pictures coming soon!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

My Holy Moly… I Don’t Think I Will Try This Again - Delivery Story

Warning… long post. Also, if you plan on delivering a baby soon, read at your own risk. It might make you a little nervous…

On September 17th, our lives changed in a way we never anticipated. I was 34 weeks and 6 days pregnant, ready to deliver on October 23rd. The night before I had a ward Bunco party at my house and I was actually feeling great. The only thing that was on my mind was the fact that I hadn’t felt my baby girl in my tummy move like I had in the past. I had heard that in your last month or so you don’t feel the baby move as much because the baby doesn’t have very much room to move and because they frequently change positions getting ready for birth. I thought that I was being paranoid worrying about it.

That night as I lay in bed after the party while Gentry was playing basketball at the church, I tried to feel her move, but wasn’t feeling much of anything. This was really surprising because she was such a mover before – especially at nights. Gentry got home late and when he came to bed I told him I hadn’t felt her move much. He tried to feel her too, but couldn’t get her to move. This was surprising because he always could poke her foot and get her to kick back. He started to get concerned, and made me promise to call the doctor in the morning and get it checked out. I promised, and all night I couldn’t sleep worrying about her and hoping that she was okay.

The next morning I called my doctor’s office the minute it opened and left a message with the nurse. She called me back a little later and said that lack of fetal movement was serious and that I needed to lay down for an hour and count fetal kicks. If I didn’t have at least 6-10 in the hour, I needed to immediately check- in to labor and delivery at the hospital. This freaked me out and I started to cry a little bit but thought I was just being pregnant, paranoid, and emotional. I talked to my boss and asked if I could leave for a little while and make sure the baby was okay. He said that I could and reassured me that everything was probably alright.

I went to my Mom and Dad’s house and drank a glass of juice and laid down for an hour. I tried desperately to feel her move, but I wasn’t feeling her. After the hour had passed, I called my sister Anneke and asked her for advice. She told me to just go in because it would help me not be so stressed and that I wouldn’t end up paying the hospital anything extra because our deductible would be met anyways. (Later she told me that she didn’t know why she gave that advice because she thought everything was okay, but was so glad she did). I called Gentry and told him I was going to go to the hospital – just so we wouldn’t worry about it at the fair that night or the rest of the weekend.

I kind of felt foolish checking into Labor and Delivery at the hospital. I thought that the minute that I walked into the hospital I would start feeling her again. I thought Olivia was playing a little prank on me. Luckily, the nurse that checked me in was so amazing and reassured me that if it was nothing, it was always better to be safe than sorry. She led me into a room and gave me a hospital gown to change into. The second that I walked into the room I felt Olivia move… of course. I felt really stupid for coming in, but I figured since I was there I might as well make sure everything was alright. Gentry came in a few minutes later and the nurse began tests. Everything looked perfectly normal – her heart rate was amazing and everything looked great. The nurse said they would keep the monitors on for a little longer but that she was going to just call my doctor and make sure it was okay to discharge me and let me go home.

The minute the nurse walked out the door, Gentry and I watched the monitor as Olivia’s heart rate dropped from 154 to around 50. At that exact moment, Olivia began kicking like crazy in my belly. A few moments later, the nurse came back into the room. She said that the tracking was looking really weird and that maybe there was something to my story of not feeling her move very much. I told her we saw the heart rates too, and that the baby kicked a lot at that exact time. This alarmed the nurse a little bit, and she said they would run a few more tests just to make sure everything was okay because that was odd. Usually when a baby moved, the heart rate would increase, not decrease like that. (Later we learned from a nurse that when a baby’s heart rate got to around 60, they would start resuscitations. A heart rate in the 50’s is really serious). Little did I know that my doctor was reading our heart rates at her office, as well as a doctor at the hospital, and three specialists at IMC.

Meanwhile, Gentry and I sat in the room and watched football… we really thought that everything was going to be okay and didn’t worry at all. Someone came in and did an ultrasound on me checking the amniotic fluids, and everything looked normal. Gentry called his sister Kami and found out that they were at the hospital too for a pediatric visit. He left for a minute to say hi to Kami, Chaz, and Scarlett. While he was gone, two nurses came into the room. One was teary eyed, and said that they didn’t like what the heart rates were doing and just to be safe, they might need to do a c-section that afternoon to get her out. I was SHOCKED! I was over 5 weeks early and nothing was ready for the baby, my bags weren’t packed, etc. Also, I never had anticipated having a c-section, and the thought of having one terrified me!!!

I tried calling Gentry and he didn’t answer, but he was back in the room in a few minutes. He walked in and I was bawling and told him the news. He thought that I was joking and was dumbfounded. A nurse walked in the room again and Gentry asked if it was true that we might have to do a c-section. The nurse looked at him and said, “Honey, it isn’t a might, we ARE doing a c-section in 20 minutes”. We frantically tried calling our families to let them know what was going on, all while the nurses began quickly to get me ready for surgery. The anesthesiologist came in and made me sign paperwork, and I was a mess. In a few minutes, we started walking towards the operating room. My doctor came into the room out of breath and had me get on the operating table. I felt like I was in a nightmare. They numbed me up and I laid down. Meanwhile, Gentry said our doctor tried to get our baby’s heart rate. She kept trying and couldn’t get anything, so she finally pretty much threw the monitor and began quickly getting the baby out.

Unfortunately, we soon learned that the scary c-section was the least of our worries. When our doctor pulled the baby out, she was not doing well at all. She told us that the baby was beautiful, but that she was very pale. Gentry asked if she was okay, and our doctor said that she was really pale and it wasn’t good. Immediately a team of doctors and nurses began frantically working on our sweet Olivia. Gentry saw all of this and began crying, telling me that our baby that we had anticipated for so long was not doing well. I was shocked and all I could do was lay on the operating table, I was completely helpless. After they finished my c-section, they wheeled me into a recovery room without my baby. They were still working on her frantically and would not tell us what was going on.

In the recovery room, me, Gentry, Kami, Gentry’s parents, and my Mom waited and waited. Finally, my doctor came into the room and said that she didn’t have anything really to share about the baby, it was too early to tell. She said that the baby was born with hardly any blood in her body. Her blood count should have been around 40, but was at a 9. (Later we learned that it was a miracle she was alive with only that much blood. It was a record for a baby being born and alive with this blood count at the NICU). She said it is a very rare thing called fetal hemorrhage where the baby somehow gives their blood to the mother. She said it happens about 1 in 20,000. She didn’t know how it happened because my placenta and umbilical cord were perfectly healthy and attached. She said she saw only saw one other case like this ten years ago. I asked her if my baby was going to make it, and the only thing she said was that in the case she saw 10 years ago, the baby did not make it. Again, I was completely shocked and devastated. I was thinking that I had this hard pregnancy and fell in love with the baby all for it to end like this. I kept asking my Mom, “what if she dies?” I then began praying harder than I have ever prayed in my life. I said a prayer every few seconds, begging Heavenly Father to save Olivia’s life and that if he granted me this miracle, I would make sure that she was raised in the gospel and loved so much.

We sat in the room for another few hours, not hearing much of anything new, except for that they were going to life flight her to another hospital as soon as they had her stabilized more. Gentry gave me a blessing and was allowed to see Olivia and give her a blessing as well. One of the nurses said, “that little girl needs all of the help she can get”.

Olivia was born around 4:30 pm and it wasn’t until about 7:30 pm that they had her stabilized and life flight arrived to take her to IMC. It wasn’t until they were about to fly her out that I was able to see her. They brought her into my room in a ventilator and I just looked at her sick body, hooked up to a bazillion wires. I touched her legs and kept praying. We still didn’t know if she was going to make it. She was in bad shape. None of the doctors were very hopeful.

The pediatrician that headed keeping Olivia alive walked into the room and asked to see the dad. She saw Gentry and cried and hugged him for a while. She said that she had never seen a baby like that ever, and would love to be our little girl’s pediatrician. She later told us that she didn’t know if we were religious, but that she performed procedures on Olivia that she didn’t really even know how to do, because it was such a rare case.

Gentry and others escorted Olivia to the helicopter and I watched her be flown away through the window. Gentry immediately drove over to the other hospital to be with her. I sat in the room shocked and terrified, still praying and praying.

Luckily, Olivia made a miraculous recovery at the NICU where she stayed only 10 days, not the anticipated 5 weeks, at least, told to us by the doctors.

Later, the doctor told us that if I had come into the hospital 2 hours earlier, they wouldn’t have seen anything weird and would have sent me home. If I would have come an hour later, it would have been too late. Everyone in the hospital (the doctors and nurses) kept telling me how glad they were that I came in the exact time I came in and that we were so lucky. She was a miracle to be alive, there was no doubt in anybody’s mind. Later, Gentry’s dad did some research online about fetal hemorrhages. He found out that about 99% of the time, they end in stillbirths because the only sign of one is lack of fetal movement. We were so blessed to feel prompted to come to the hospital when we did. So many other factors were working against it and should have meant that our sweet Olivia wouldn’t be with us today.

Our little baby Olivia Claire Cameron is such a miracle. All of the doctors we talk to cannot believe that she is alive, let alone alive without brain damage and other issues. When I told my doctor that she was home from the NICU the doctor was completed shocked. She is such a special spirit and every time that I look at her I smile and love her so much. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that allowed me to be a mother to such a special girl. She shouldn’t be here today, I don’t know exactly why she is here, but I am excited to see her future. It must be bright to have been saved the way she was saved. I just love my little girl!