Insomnia

Lately I have had a hard time sleeping... and yes, it is from the little girl. However, it isn't for the reason you would think. She has been sleeping pretty well at nights, but every day after we say our evening prayers and thank our Heavenly Father for our little miracle in our lives my mind flashes back to September 17th, the day she was born ... the saddest, scariest, yet happiest day of my life.

I think of the nurses coming into my room saying that we were going to have to have an emergency c-section and being overwhelmed with fear. I think of her poor little body as pale as a white sheet barely holding on to life. I think of the doctors giving me frantic yet composed looks and uncertain answers. I think of her sweet little face and her little 4 lb 15 ounce body laying motionless in an incubator. I remember the life flight, the breathing machines, the NICU, the uncertainty, and the fear. I look at her sweet little face every day and feel so incredibly blessed to have her in my life and be her mother. If you have ever met her, you know she is the sweetest most special spirit you have ever met. She is so special. It pains me to think that I almost lost her. The other night as I was thinking about this all in the dark and crying a bit, I felt so grateful to my Father in Heaven. Not only did he make it possible through his Son, Jesus Christ, to have eternal families, (such a comforting thought for me), he gave me a miracle and let me have her on earth. She shouldn't be here, but she is and I love her more than words can express. She just had her 6 month appoinment last week and is doing terrific. She started eating baby food and LOVES sweet potatoes. She weighs 13 pounds and 1 ounce (10th percentile) and is 25 inches (50 percentile). She is so healthy and so, so, so, happy. She just smiles and smiles and her giggle is so contagious. WE LOVE HER SO MUCH!

I know miracles happen and that Jesus and Heavenly Father are aware of us personally and love us. I am so grateful for this special experience we have been given to strengthen our testimony and our family.